31 Days of Horror: The Amityville Asylum (NR; 2013; 91 min)

Tanya Coats Konerman, Author

amityville asylum

I am so happy, dear viewer, to save you from wasting 1 -1/2 hours of your life by telling you to run far, far away from this B-level “horror” movie. No, wait. That’s insulting to B movies! Let’s just say: don’t bother wasting your time or money.

Drawn in by the lure of the Amityville franchise, I didn’t exactly have high hopes for this movie set at the High Hopes Psychiatric Hospital, but thought I might get at least a good scare or two. What I endured instead was a slow, tedious, foreign knock-off with terrible acting, weird POV shots, and a plot out of Horror 101.

Annoying: we are supposed to believe the H.H. Hospital was recently built and opened at the sight of the Amityville Horror house in New York. However, every character in the movie minus one speaks in an undeniable foreign accent (plus, one annoying girl…

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