I watch a lot of bad films, what can I say, it’s a calling. However every now and again a film comes along so rancid, so utterly devoid of worth, bereft of merit, lacking in interest, that it is like biting into a ripe piece of limburger cheese that has been matured in a burly rugby half back’s sports truss over a period of years and feeling a bloated maggot burst against your teeth.
The Watermen is not the maggot in this parable. Oh no. The Watermen is the cloying lumpy ichor that bursts from the maggot’s vile carcass and coats your throat making you gag and heave. And it has an aftertaste that will make you want to gargle with bleach. THAT, ladies and germs, is The Watermen.
Written and directed by someone with the storytelling ability of a slime mould, The Waterman is a slasher movie spiced with…
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